Nicknames (updated)

Vietnam has never been considered a creative country. It’s a copycat world here; streets lined with shops selling the same items, their names named after their business address like Pho 54 or nha hang 131. So when parents look to name their child, they don’t deviate too much from the norm. There’s no Sparrows, Shilohs, Kal-El, or Bronx Mowgli running around the streets of Saigon. Instead, there’s a pretty good chance the next girl you meet is going to be named Vi, Thuy, or Phuong. Hell, my uncle loved the name Phuong so much both his daughters were given that name.

So imagine a household of 5 guys pulling in girls and trying to exchange war stories. This would be a common exchange:

“I finally boned Vi last night.”

“Oh yeah? The fat one?”

“No, the one with the missing tooth.”

“Ohhhhhhh, that Vi.”

Instead of having to describe exactly which girl we’re talking about each time, usually, the girls are given nicknames so they can be identified easier. Since the nicknames are typically given during our initial meeting, the aliases are always used and we tend to forget their real names.

Keep in mind these pseudonyms aren’t well planned, but instead it’s whatever popped into our mind when we first met them. It could be as simple as what shirt they were wearing at the time, the place we first met them, or the job they held. Yes, some may sound harsh, but hey, it’s probably the best term to describe them at the moment. So with no further ado, here is a partial list of nicknames that we have”

Name + Location (X Oscar, X Velvet, VIP chick)
Green Shirt
Red Shirt
Leopard Pants
Fishface
Fashface's sister
Tranny
Crackhead

Flatnose
DD
Virgin
Unicorn
Crazy Chick
Ugly chick
Big head
Superslut
Juniorslut
PacMan - do the someone that talks too much hand motion
Lovely
Shortie
Cougar Crew
Darkie
Blackie
Righty
Mr. Potato Head
Pig Face
Jessica Alba - had the nerve to think she looked like Jessica Alba
Mermaid
Fivehead - bigger than normal 4head
Chewy

Keep in mind, we may use these aliases in future posts.

by 8000mileslater staff