Warning.....Caution....Beware......

At the time of this writing, your girlfriend and her little sister are hanging out in my buddy’s room.  The younger sister is fast asleep and the older one is watching a movie with three of us guys. We’re teasing her that she looks like one of our fat friends that you probably know from back home.  Oh, her phone just went off. She just texted you back, saying that she's at home watching TV with her sisters while you, my friend, are getting ready for an early day at work.  You’re working hard, grinding and earning that money that you promised her at the beginning of each month, while me and my band of thieves are putting some hours of our own...boning your chick.

It’s not personal, honestly. It really isn’t; it’s just that you’re away and we’re here.  We’re the guys back home that everyone likes and maybe you’ve met us and maybe you haven’t.  The time you met us you probably thought, "Wow, you’re a really cool guy.” We’re not out to get your girl. It just happened to work out that way.  There's no malicious intent whatsoever. It's just that your girl misses the feeling of having a man beside her, inside of her, whatever. Skype calls and broken Vietnamese emails can only go so far.

It's fair game, this love and war stuff. We met them at the club just like you did because as you know very well, only girls that are attractive enough to bone go out. We have more in common than you think. We liked your chick for the same reason you liked her too. If you, a vacationing Viet Kieu, can pull a girl, so can we. It's simply because we've lived here and we see the patterns and the ongoing games that happen before our eyes.

Here's a bit of caution: It’s no use calling to check up on her.  You’re just going to ignite another fight where she will shut you, and ultimately frustrate you.  You should be lucky I’m not like my buddy who likes to thrust even harder when she is on the phone with you.  Personally, I’m not really about that, but for some buddies of mine, they relish in it.  They actually live for that very moment. The times that you'll most likely call are before work, during lunch hour, or squeezed in during the 15 minute smoke break.  When you’re calling, we know.  The number comes up on your girl’s phone as a number starting with the “+” or with “0017XXX,” the latter being your Skype number.

Don’t give up all hope for love out here in Vietnam but don’t be naïve to think she is an angel.  If you really did love her you would have brought her over by now. But because you've been lagging, she's here with us. Granted, she probably doesn't love or care for us as much as she does you. But damn, she sure fakes it pretty well.  You ever try to get a notary done in Vietnam before? It’s hard.  Now imagine trying to prevent a grown person from doing what they want.  Infinitely harder.

We’re not the only ones.  There is a sea of us, literally a whole colony, spreading like a plague and we’re after chicks, someone's girlfriend or not.

P.S.  Keep sending the money. We’re partying on your dime.

Kind Regards,

8000 Miles Later Staff.