Hi, I'm your typical local Saigon guy, and I've been invited by the 8000 Miles Later Crew to tell you the 10 things I can't live without. I'm just your average dude, but I'm happy to inform you readers what items are essentials while living in Saigon.
1. Doc Martin Sandals There's no occasion that doesn't call for these beauties. I can wear them to temple, on a date, and most importantly, when I'm "nhauing." It adds a few inches to my short stature and plus, they're soooo in right now. The local girls just love them! When they see me in them, they know they're dealing with someone who has class.
2. Nhau Spot After a long day's work, I just want to kick back at my nhau spot with my buddies and have a cold Saigon Red, away from the stress at the office and from the old lady at home. We get to talk about chicks and watch the Manchester/Chelsea match. Life's fucking good.
3. Nap-time I can never sleep in. Everyday, either my lady wakes me up because she's going to the market at 6 in the morning, or the little rugrats are rambling through the house getting ready for school. If I want to stay up late to drink my liver away, I have to take my required nap in the day. That's why Vietnam has a three hour lunch. It allows me to snuggle under my desk and rest for an hour so I can be fresh in the evening.
4. Watching Soccer Duh, right? I'm Vietnamese. Soccer has to be on the list. My favorite is the English Premier League, and my favorite team is Manchester United. But really, I'll watch and bet on any type of soccer, especially if the Vietnam national team is playing. If they lose, my children are probably going to have to go hungry for a while. But man oh man, when they win... Nothing beats getting on a motorbike with a Vietnamese flag wrapped around me and a tin pan in my hands.
5. Massage Spot I know a lot of people go and get massages to relax, relieve stress, or get the soreness out of joints and muscles. I go to get a massage for all of the above, plus to get away from the hustle and bustle of the city and the nagging old lady and unappreciative kids at home. The air in the locker room is usually filled with ringtones going off which can only mean one thing: wives. But hey, it's not cheating unless my dick gets wet from bodily fluids.
6. Cigarettes I started smoking when I was 12, in the alleyways while shooting marbles and catching crickets to tie to a string. Life was much easier back then. Whenever I light up a cigarette, it brings me back to those wonderful childhood memories. The perfect stress reliever.
7. "Du Ma"
Although not a tangible item, I use the term "Du Ma" more than anything else on this list on a daily basis. It is universally appropriate for any occasion, kinda like my Doc Martin sandals. "Du Ma" can be an expression during times of joy, happiness, anger, excitement, and climax.
8. Embroidered Polo Shirt
Clothes makes the man and my shirt says I'm a man in the know. When I'm not walking through the Saigon streets shirtless, I'm wearing a fashionable polo, collars popped. Not one of those lame basic alligator polos - LaCoast - but one with some cool saying emblazoned on the back like "Happy Heart," or "Eagle House Sunny." I don't really know what the words mean, but English is definitely always awesome. Sometimes it's not words, but a sick graphic image that looks like squiggly lines.
9. My Coffee Shop
I like mine, Cafe Sua Da (Vietnamese Milk Coffee). With WiFi please.
10. My girlfriend
This is an absolute necessity while I'm alive. Yes, I've got a wife, and she does good. Cooks for me, watches the kids, cleans the house. She lets me hang out with the boys without nagging. But she is what she is. I married her when we were young while we were still running around in our smalltown. She's just not capable of satisfying my sexual needs, no fault of hers. She just doesn't know better, unlike my girlfriend. Without her, I couldn't go home to my wife happy.
Local Saigon Guy
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