You know you're a local when...

#21 You know more shortcuts than your xe om driver.

SH

Making it Rain

December 31^st, 2008 - I was preparing to meet up with my friend and his girlfriend up at a club called 69 (which has since been renamed to MZ Bar). It was my first time in Vietnam and my first time going to a club in Vietnam. I didn’t realize that tonight, my cherry would be popped like a horny sixth grader at band camp.

I was ushered into the club by jovial security guards who looked like they’d answer to my every whim. The music was deafening, the crowd was raucous; my kind of people, I thought. So, I got to our table and saw the bottle of Remy Martin staring me dead in the eye. Our waiter began pouring out the shots and I remember looking at the small half-shot sized glasses and scoffing. This story will now have to be all hearsay because somewhere during the night, I blacked out and “MVP” took over.

We translate your local girlfriend’s bullshit

My phone doesn’t work – Buy me an iPhone 4

I can’t call you – Buy me more phone minutes

My motorbike broke down – Buy me an SH

My dad is sick in the hospital – I need 3 million dong to shop

I got my purse snatched – I need a new purse, a new phone, and spending cash

I can’t go home – Can I come over and fuck

I think my house is haunted – I want to sleep in your bed

Party of the Month: John/Si's Birthday at Catwalk

We always ask our readers what they want see more of on this site, and the most common answer is: more photos. Although we'd like to accommodate to you all and post uncensored sleaze and filth that occurs in this house, the fact of the matter is that there's way too much nudity, toilet sex incriminating stuff to post. But we're going to make a conscious effort to take as many photos as we can (it's just a hassle to lug a DSLR everywhere), especially when we go out at night.

Last month, John and Si--whose birthdays are a day apart--decided to throw a joint party at Catwalk inside the New World Hotel. Saigon isn't a great place to throw a party since the only venues you can use are a restaurant, a karaoke bar, or a club. Honestly, we would have rather had it at our home but it's just not feasible to host a house party because of certain logistics. Originally planned to be at Velvet, we then decided to just go all out and rented out the room at Catwalk. With 50 of our closest friends here in Saigon, we were able to have a raucous night. Here are the pictures to prove it. Thank you to everyone for showing up.

Real Girls of Saigon

We here at 8000 Miles Later would like to take a second to appreciate Saigon's more precious resource. Those non-pro girls that make our day slightly more enjoyable. Here's the super sweet manager, Net, from NYDC flashing us her captivating smile.

8000 Miles Later

It's all in the hips

Here's John doing his thing at his favorite place, Club Liquid.

How Will I know...

I love this song. Ever since I was a kid, I just loved this song. Something about Whitney Houston being beautiful and being a great singer made this five year old Vietnamese boy in Oxnard California happy at the time. So, if you’re in Saigon, how will you know if she really digs you?

Going out in Vietnam can sometimes be a dangerous proposition. You could be having the time of your life then the next thing you know, a dirty skank hooker off a motorbike gives your balls the death grip and grabs your wallet along with your iPhone 4 (true story that happened to one of my new friends from Switzerland). You just never know. The absolute intensity here in Vietnam is incredible and, in mathematical terms, absolute value can mean really good or really bad. Yup, that’s life.

Having great times at regular bars can be a great experience. You can meet really fun and great people, and sometimes can make magic happen. It’s incredible. My buddy is fantastic at the bar scene in Vietnam. He’s a humble and modest guy and will never admit to being a woman-slayer but he has the best game at normal bars around Saigon like Martini bar, Q bar, Lush, and sometimes at Apocalypse. The bar scene is a great place to pick up fresh "poultry" and "beef." But just like Whitney Houston, how will you know? How do you know that she really loves you, and that she's just not some skank whore trying to nab at some cash at the end of the night? These are the level-one pros, transaction-only for sweet love making.