We Tranlate Our Own BS

My phone battery died – I turned my phone into airplane mode

I fell asleep early last night – I was out with a chick

I have to go on a business trip – I gotta meet my out of town bitch

I’ll buy your gift next week – You’re not getting a present

I’m too tired to fuck tonight – I just had sex earlier and I’m out of ammo

I’m getting a foot massage – My penis is getting a massage

I’m eating with my friends – I’m at a beer om with my friends

She was just a friend/sister/cousin – She’s a new girl I’m working on

Trust me, I’m a nice guy – You should run away as fast as possible

I’m gonna miss you while you’re out of town – I’m so fucking glad I’m getting a weekend off from you

I love you – I want to fuck you

You wanna come over and watch a dvd – you wanna come over and fuck

I just broke up with my girlfriend – I’m just saying this to gain sympathy. I already have a few girls

You can sleep at my place tonight but promise we’re just gonna sleep, OK! – I’m so gonna fuck you.

I’m only kissing you to see how much I like you – I’m so gonna fuck you.

I’m just at home working on my laptop – I’m indeed at home & on my laptop, but gaming bitches on FB & Yahoo chat.

I’m at my uncle’s house – I’m out with a chick

I’m drinking with my uncle and cousins & really drunk – I’m out with a chick all night and don’t plan on replying your text or answer your call.

I’m gonna be at my uncle’s for family function – I’m having plans with another chick and don’t want you to bug me.

I’m working on a few projects – I just want you to think I got my shit together & to fuck me.

I’m in a middle of something – I just wanna hear what you want from me first before I decide to be busy for a long time or free myself up immediately.

I have to do something very important in couple hours – I just wanna fuck you and leave right after.

“E dau roi? A nho e wa” (Where are you? I miss you a lot.) – Where the fuck are you? I’m horny.

I don’t have any Vietnamese money right now – I have no money whatsoever. Pay for this shit!

I think I swallowed your hair - You need to shave your bush.
I work on the internet - That ain't a job bitch.  I don't have a job.

8000 Miles Later